When exams start to feel like going to the dentist
Jacqueline Libert | februari 26, 2024
Like many of us I tend to dread going to the dentist. Luckily my dental health is pretty good so these visits are not that frequent, but on the day of I feel very reluctant. Always have. Those sounds when they’re poking between your teeth with their little hooks, the feel of it.. It gives me the shivers even thinking of it now.
I’ve tried many things to try and make my time in the dentist seat more bearable. Going to your “happy place” in times of difficulty is a recommendation I’ve often heard in American series or movies. Let me tell you – I’ve fantasized about white and sunstruck beaches, but it didn’t do me any good. One time I thought, maybe I should turn this around. Instead of thinking about someplace nice, I should think about somewhere that’s even worse than where I am now. This resulted in me thinking about a horror movie while someone was poking in my gums with a sharp tool. Bad idea.
Thankfully, today I found something that did give some relief: mindfulness and conscious breathing. I often practice this with my clients when it comes to dealing with difficult thoughts or feelings. In doing so, you actively try to accept the thoughts and feelings, creating more space to expand your awareness to include other things so you can focus on what really matters. The most important thing is to stop fighting your thoughts and feelings and let them be there, since they are there anyway, and therefore not creating any extra tension or discomfort in trying to get rid of them (this video explains it really well).
Today I realized (once again) that some things are easier said to someone else than done yourself. However, as these scraping sounds were sending chills down my spine and I couldn’t think of anything else, I decided to practice. It went something like this: instead of becoming fully absorbed in the sounds and feelings coming from my mouth, I (grudgingly) tried to accept their presence and to expand my awareness. I tried not to engage with the endless stream of thoughts (somewhere along the lines of “Aaah this is awful”, “Aaaah this sound is horrible” and “Wen is this ever going to end?!”) and instead take a step back and, in addition to being aware of and feeling my mouth, also feeling other parts of my body and consciously breathing towards my pelvic area and feet. In doing so, I noticed that the unpleasant sensations seemed a little smaller. At times I got lost in thought for a few seconds and realized I didn’t feel anything in my mouth at all! Of course there were also times where I was harshly jolted back into reality by a painful sensation, but again and again I tried to zoom out, relax as much as possible, and breathe slowly. This expanded my awareness so I could include other sounds and feelings as well, making the ones from my mouth a little smaller. It didn’t take away everything, but it helped a great deal.
Do it yourself – from one exam room to the next
You can apply this kind of exercise in many situations, not only at the dentist but also during (studying for) an exam. How?
- Notice that you are resisting your experience in the here and now: you might notice tension in your body, elevated heart rate, quicker breathing, or (often) thoughts running over each other (e.g. “I can’t do this”, “I should have started sooner” or “I don’t feel like doing this”
- Observe the physical world: what can you hear/see/smell/feel? (this helps you to already zoom out a little)
- Connect to your body: feel how you are sitting (e.g. the contact of your body and the chair or your posture) and notice what your body feels like (where do you feel relaxed or tension? Where and how can you feel your breath?)
- Notice the thoughts going through your head: you can do this by mentally repeating “I’m having the thought that… *fill in the gap*. For example: “I’m having the thought that I didn’t study well enough”. And then repeat this for ~30 seconds. This creates some distance between you and the thought
- Observe and accept: both the primary “difficult” experience + the resistance to it (the not wanting to have this experience)
- Expand your awareness: for example to your breathing, or a part of your body that feels more comfortable
- Repeat: notice, observe and accept, zoom out. After a while you will notice that you start to feel a little more spacious
If you ever want to polish up your mindfulness skills, I highly recommend a visit to the dentist. And if you would like to practice more and get some 1-on-1 guidance, you are always welcome to come and see us.
